Why "Girl Power" Is a Deception

“I do not wish women to have power over men; but over themselves.” - Mary Shelley

Why do many girls feel lost and lack confidence when they are not with their friends or significant other?

What causes the need to seek approval from men as well as other women?

What does it mean to be empowered as a woman?

Who defines female empowerment and how does its representation differ from males'?
Why are women often presented as powerful - only when they are in groups?

The idea of being looked after and dependent is one that is flawed even if it is within the setting of other women. Men are not taught to depend on women and they definitely aren’t taught to depend on other men. To be an all-round successful person, there must be development of independence.

When we consider the idealised man: the brave, macho, self-assured, self-made, head of the home, leader of the pack, stuck out chest and burst-out-of-shirt veiny muscles (ok I digress) there is little acknowledgement of a team-effort approach to his success. He is the complete package. He relies on no one. He is the pilot of his own life. However, rarely is a woman seen as the sole pilot of her life thus she is never presented as such. The strong man figure is praised and idolised, whereas its female equivalent is shamed and has even been made derogatory. For instance, the ‘strong independent black woman’ trope that many black women are almost made to feel embarrassed about. These labels are used as if to say ‘simmer down, you’re being too powerful’, and we, shockingly, feel shame for being too strong. 

Is girl power bad? No. Are a group of closed-minded, needy, dependent and self-doubting women unhelpful? I believe so. Girl power only works when each girl in the group feels powerful, or else they each contribute nothing to the group besides their shared low self-esteem. The guise of the ‘girl gang’, the ‘sass squad’ (helpless, pretty females) that is on the rise in media outlets, TV advertisements as well as clothing brands prompts pseudo empowerment in women. From crop top slogans to social media marketing, there seems to be a new wave of ‘girl power’ culture that has been subject to exploitation. Genuine female solidarity is being reduced to a commodity: makeup brand campaigns, exclusive, cliquey celebrity ‘squads’ (hi, Taylor Swift) and cheesy songs. It is an ugly and childish feminism that rejects the concept of self-actualisation. The image of carefree girls excelling together is a positive one that trumps the typical catty, argumentative rivalry between girls that has been shoved in our faces for decades. However, the core issue is how women are conditioned to see themselves and their worth as independent women. I believe this is where a humanist perspective plays a part in redefining women’s standards. 

The notion of autonomy and self-reliance should defy gender. Girls should find unity with others in their individual independence, not in their ability to use and depend on each other, regardless of if it is another woman. We should be celebrating our different paths, goals, backgrounds, journeys and achievements. That we accomplished ourselves. Of course, it is important to seek help and support sometimes - who better to find this in than your girls? But we cannot place our entire worth and existences in the control of other people, we shouldn't depend on others for our own growth, we shouldn't feel good about ourselves only when others validate this feeling first. Our friends do not need to all agree with our ideas and passions before we pursue them. The first protocol when in need, whether financially, emotionally or otherwise should not be to run to beg those around us as soon as we reach hurdles. We must be resourceful, active and prepared.
Think of yourself as a digestive system. When in a state of hunger, the human body uses up carbohydrate stores that fuel our functioning. At this point, the body doesn't think to give up, starve or pass the responsibility of hunger to the owner or expect food transfers from another system. The fat stores, the protein stores, and other alternative energy sources are converted for use to keep the body running. This is the mentality we should adapt, in terms of our friendships, relationships and environment.

There is little empowering about ‘girl power’ that propels a narrative of brainless ants that are only useful, womanly and powerful when in a team. We have to be GREAT alone and then GREATER as a team. If we work, learn and inspire collectively by using our own self-developed resources, the results would surely be infinite. But our achievements would come about because we used our individual strengths, not because we were only strong when in a group. Our connections should be seen as an addition to who we are and not a completion. Women are not angry mobs, puppets or weak links. Autonomy and womanhood should not be mutually exclusive concepts in any woman’s development, so it is only right that they should be viewed with equal importance.

Here's a fire, non-cliché playlist I made that realistically illustrates and celebrates girlhood bc all the Spotify-made ones are trash and I am the Queen of playlists. That is all, enjoy!